Thirtieth Entry

Thirtieth Entry: 1/25/10 6:08:55 PM

I miss her, and this I cannot deny. I did try, but she always found a way to come to the surface of my mind. I don’t know why I do, I feel like I should not miss her. Alas, I do. I’ve already tried tricking myself to detour my mind, but only she can get in the way. And for unknown reasons, I will continue to miss her, because there is nothing that can snap me out of it. I’ve fallen so far in, it doesn’t matter who else I kiss, because I’ll still miss her. And only she can infatuate me the way she does. I wish she didn’t, I don’t want it to be this way, but it this way. For now, where ever I will go, she will be there forcing me to turn back. I wish I could keep going, but no matter how far I go in the opposite direction she will find a way. I’m not ready to admit this, the thought still aggravates me. I should be able to shut her out of my head, as I can do in other situations. But this will never help, because she is in my head. I am an addict, and I will continue to wish I could of had it, to wish she was mine. I miss what I never knew.