Twenty-Sixth Entry

Twenty-Sixth Entry: 12/31/09 6:32:01 PM

I started off this entry with a long introduction about what I think a resolution should be, but I think all that boring exposition should be deleted. In accordance with this, I just deleted that boring exposition. Basically, when people make New Years resolutions it is most likely a “physical” goal. An example of this could be “this New Years I resolve to eat less sweets.” To be honest that is a wimpy resolution, I think the true resolutions are “internal.” An internal resolution being something that helps to improve your character. Especially, for myself, my resolutions are all internal. I am no where close to being a complete human being. I have many faults, but I try my best. The reason why most people make “physical” resolutions is that they’re scared of who they really are. Now, what I just said might not be the best way to put it, but it’s the best way to put it without launching into an epic poem about the subject. Most people do not realize their faults and ignore them like they do not exist. This obviously does not help at all. If you make an internal resolution, that is half the battle. Just realizing that you as a human being have to improve is a great step. Most people are stuck degrading other people, so they do not have to focus on their own faults. Not realizing your own faults simply enlarges them.

No one is perfect and this is why we struggle on as people in this harsh life. Maybe, in another life, things will be easier, or perhaps worse. However, the important thing is to live in the present. Realize the mistakes you have made, but do not dwell on them. Realize the good things that you done, but do not inflate your ego. Realize where you would like to go, but do not lose tract of each day. These are the important things that we must all do to improve our selves as human beings. And that is the essence of life.

For certain reasons my mind has been occupied with the thoughts of Life and Death, and the best way for me to vanquish these unnecessary topics from my mind is to write about them. I wonder what I will remember from my life, when I die. Will I still be Sam Rouleau, or a different being with a different identity? Will I still look the same, or be a shapeless ameba? Will I even be able to remember these questions? The whole concept of Death is just so abstract that we can’t find answers for it. Part of me does not wish for me to die in my sleep. I want to remember my last moments in this world, in hope of preserving who I am in the next. A lot of people view Death as the end, but to not be scared of it one must view Death as a transition. It is not the end of us, on this planet and this life; yes, but not the end of our being. With the abstractness that Death has it also gives me a sense of curiosity. Just the whole concept of Death is hard to grasp. Our bodies will not be living, it is such a foreign thought that my mind cannot help, but be intrigued by this great mystery.

I’m on a roll, so I might as well keep going. Life is full of joy, and it is perhaps equally filled with pain. Do we bring pain onto ourselves? Possibly, maybe, who is fit to answer? The possibility has been brought to my mind that our emotional state is what can bring us physical problems. For most people it is impossible to link the emotional and physical. Once you are able to grasp your mind around the concept it is quite conceivable. How we deal daily with our emotions may contribute to our physical problems. As we gain age, the way we deal with our emotions has more impact on us physically, which could result in pain. It is hard for me to believe that the higher power, in my case God, enjoys putting us through pain.

I’ve touched briefly on a couple of subjects, and I am always willing to write about what my readers want me to write about, so if you have any suggestions you can always email me at sgrouleau@comcast.net. I hope that 2010 is a great year for all of you.